Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
