A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
it's like iHOP with fire
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
