Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
