lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
