when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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