And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
