If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
wow bdsm is so cute
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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