i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
