Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I touched a dick in church today
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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