At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
