I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
