What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
