My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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