He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
