im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
