First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
