who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
