Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
