She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
