My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
