I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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