It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
