he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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