she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
