I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
