You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
COCAINE IS GR8
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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