Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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