Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
