My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
