He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm both gender and math confused
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
