Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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