you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
do herpes really smell.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Semen is not good for contacts.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
