She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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