nut hugger
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
