imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
