Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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