dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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