Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
