if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
