Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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