i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
