I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
