Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
