I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
