haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
cat food counts as protein by the way
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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