Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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