Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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