He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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