Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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