ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
