if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
