you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just blew my weed a kiss
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
