fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
