I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
