Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
