i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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